My first project after my disastrous 30th year was to build a great home on a small acreage. Despite the questioning crowd – “why do you need a house that big for only you”, I pushed determinedly ahead.
I was on such a tight budget that I imposed upon some amazing friends who let me live in a van (theirs) on acreage (theirs), with my two dogs and two cats (which their son helped take care of) whilst I built the house …
I had a strategy for that house – I built it to sell for a profit. I held onto that dream, I lived it, breathed it, believed it and wouldn’t let anyone or anything take it from me.
First I had to organize finance. It took a lot of guts, a lot of effort, and a lot of sweet smiles at the Bank Manager! When my marriage broke up I ended up with all the bills whilst my ex went bankrupt. The Bank wasn’t too keen on financing a single divorcee with a bankrupt ex.
Then, I had to find a builder who was willing to work with a “girl” – after all, what would I know about design and building. Most builders thought “girls” didn’t know anything about building or design. But this one did! I designed the house, drew the plans to scale, and found a builder who understood what I wanted and, more importantly, one I could work with.
Months were spent watching my dream come to fruition. And, when it was finally completed, I moved in.
The first morning waking up in that house is forever etched into my memory. The main bedroom was at the back of the house, with huge glass sliding doors looking out onto sky and trees. The area was quiet, calm, peaceful. I had done it. I was here. I was living in my dream.
So why did I feel so empty, so miserable, so hollow? What was wrong with me? Here I was – I had persevered through the trauma, I was living in a beautiful house, I had achieved the dream, I had arrived!
I should be happy, joyful, over the moon, excited. But I was none of those …
It took about six months of living with the hollow feeling before I identified what was wrong.
I had focused my whole life on building that house. I’m not sure how long I worked on that dream, but it was well over a year. It had consumed me, it had been the only thing I thought about. I was single minded, nothing and no one distracted me.
The problem was that I had no other dreams once I built the house. I hadn’t thought past that point.
So, when I finally achieved the dream of finishing the house, I was left with nothing to look forward to. That was the empty feeling. No dreams, no plans, nothing.
Now, I make sure that when I achieve something big, there is always something else to work towards, to look forward to, to be excited about. It may be a property project, a trip, some sort of activity. It doesn’t really matter what it is, as long as I have more than one.
How about you? Are you living with the hollow feeling inside yourself? Not sure why? Ask yourself if you have something to look forward to …
Don’t waste any more time. Life is way too short. Find something to dream about, to look forward to, to be passionate about.
And make sure you ALWAYS have something to look forward to.
Bless ya!